Day 24 – Fiona\’s Day on YE

Hi Everyone, Welcome to day 24 of our voyage. Tonight rather than the normal Captains Log, Fiona from the newly formed ‘Fuchsia’ Watch has taken a more light hearted approach to writing about her day onboard Young Endeavour. It is a good read and I am sure that you will get a few laughs from her antics just as I did. Enjoy!!  Until tomorrow, take careYours AyeCaptain Gav  Captains Log 13th Jan 2014 – Stuck in Purgatory: somewhere in the Southern Ocean without wind.  0700: A sudden, distorted blast of music rocks us from our slumber. With the speed and grace of long-retired, arthritic gymnasts we descend from our three-storey bunk bed skyscrapers to prepare for the day ahead. The good news is all those years of modern dance training have finally paid off—splits, high-kicks and jazz hands now form the bulk of our bedtime ascent and decent routines.  0715: With weary eyes, stubbed toes and strained hammies, we valiantly approach the galley with only one question on our minds: the pancake of the day. Five and a half white chocolate pancakes later, I have no regrets.  0730: ‘Five-pancake Fi’ stares at the monumental task ahead: layering up for the morning watch. Channelling her best Babushka doll impression, she takes a deep breath and sets about shimmying into two sets of thermals, a shirt, two fleeces, tracksuit pants, a windcheater, waterproof overalls, first waterproof jacket, second waterproof jacket, neck warmer, ear warmers, gloves and a beanie. Having cleared out her entire locker, she approaches the second challenge of the pre-watch process: the harness of inflexibility. This is typically achieved by leveraging the wall-mounted handles in the hallway and instructing her more nimble watch-mates to hoist everything into place. The struggle is real.  0745: ‘Fuchsia’ watch takes the helm. After a minor detour towards Hawaii, Watch Leaders Taffy and Lauren revise their decision to let Fiona take the wheel.    0915: The full cast and crew assembles on the Bridge for morning brief. Fuchsia watch secretly delights in watching their formerly-sleeping shipmates emerge from below decks, blinking into the sun we all wish was actually present. After Kenny, Paige, Matt and Captain Gav have dispensed to us our nuggets of wisdom for the day, we begin listening once a physical training session is mentioned. After so many weeks of attempting my double-back vault-pike layout twist at bedtime, I have come to the realisation I really need some assistance in nailing that landing.  1000: Turns out it was my reluctance to remove the Babushka doll outfit for sleeping purposes that was restricting my ability to stick that landing. Strategy amended.  1130: We descend to the galley for lunch. Today we made the fatal error of luxuriating in the café for slightly too long, admiring Chef Aaron’s impressive beard grooming after our meal. We must now make a terrible choice: throw what we’re wearing overboard or risk smelling like meatloaf for the next 24-36 hours. #firstworldproblems  1200: Shower time! After peeling away the layers of meatloaf-infused Babushka outfit, I proceeded to attempt my daily delousing. Today’s shower dance included a few signature moves and a few new entries. Highlights included the “hip stabiliser corner-wedge”, “avoiding the shower curtain fruit bowl impression” and “my shampoo has jumped the curb”. I’ll have to save the “scalding/icicle water avoidance boogie” and the “accidentally grabbed the hot tap for stability waltz” for tomorrow’s session.  1500: Meteorology briefing with Paige. Some shipmates are now convinced we are either in Purgatory or in some kind of ‘Truman Show’-esque experiment. I am moderately sure we will reach the end of this simulated weather dome at some point this evening: I have securely stowed my rack in anticipation of this event. Nice try, Paige, but we’re on to you.  1715: We add to our meatloaf clothing infusion with a bouquet garnee of satay pork, basil risotto, roast chicken and golden syrup dumplings. Touché, Aaron, touché.  1800: Fuchsia watch regains the helm. Lookouts are tasked with finding signs of ghost ships and water lapping against invisible walls. Paige is nowhere to be found. We are suspicious. Probably looking for point Nemo, the point of inaccessibility that we managed to float past today.  1920: Watch Leaders Taffy and Lauren ask me to shake the girls. More than two minutes into my vigorous impromptu Samba routine, I realised I had misunderstood my instructions. Not one to waste a good latin vibe, I took my routine to the 12-berth female cabin—affectionately renamed “Antarctica II” by its inhabitants. The next watch crew awoke to floorshow extravaganza definitely worthy of a captain’s log entry.  Yours Aye, Five Pancake Fiona   “